Lovebug

On some of the hardest days I feel like Bella always finds a way to let me know she's with me... Whether it be a shooting star, a butterfly, or a lady bug, she just always seems to know when I need her; this morning was no exception. She was all I could think about this morning and I found myself feeling rather distraught.

When I arrived at my desk, I noticed a little ladybug making its way across my desk calendar... 

And I couldn't help but smile because I don't think it's just a coincidence. 

Notice that it landed on the word love?

I've always referred to Bella as my little Lovebug.

Bella would've been 3 and a half today, and I find myself wondering what she might have looked like. I can't help but wonder what life would be like if Bella were still here. I find myself fantasizing life with Bella physically here, and my heart hurts because it just knows how impossible that is now. Easter is coming up, and that's always a tough holiday for me. I can remember the one Easter we spent together as if it were just yesterday. The details of that day are so clear; her outfit, the weather, and the events that took place that day. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary that happened, but for some reason I can remember every bit about it, and I'm thankful for the memories.

These days are hard, but I do know for sure that my little Lovebug is always with me. I have no doubt about that. Bella changed my entire life, and I'm so grateful that I was given the gift of being her mother.