Instead, I found myself sitting on a chair, in a cold mausoleum, arranging her flowers. Over and over I fixed the flowers, the bear, the picture. I'd take it apart, and put it back together again. I became angry that they didn't look right. I should've bought more flowers. I should've brought tape with me. I finally gave up.
I still remember the exact outfit that she wore last year. A white shirt with hearts on it, pink pants with a big heart on the left pant leg, and a pink little hat. The day was nice so we had decided to take her outside to enjoy the sun for a little while. She hated the sun; she was a total diva, so back inside we went. I had never felt more complete. I had never known that such an unconditional love could exist.
|Bella with my little brother. |
Valentine's Day 2010
|What a perfect little person.|
Valentine's Day. Never thought it'd be so significant. It became significant. Yesterday, it became unbearable. I so badly wanted to hide under the covers and not come out. The love of my life is in heaven, and I can only dream of the day when I'll hold her in my arms again. Someday.
Happy Valentine's Day. Cherish every precious moment with those you love the most.
It's such a beautiful thing.
It's such an amazing feeling.
It's all I can feel when I think of Bella; of how absolutely in LOVE I am with her.